MY edited version of the FF8 Ballroom scene
by Shinigami Myao
Summary: When a game becomes boring as all hell, you have to spruce it up. Key word, HUMOR! This is a small take on what should have REALLY happened during the ballroom scene. Short, sweet, and full of humor, I wrote it for everyone's enjoyment! Read on!!!


1 Crazy people get crazy ideas! …  
  
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing, NOTHING! Final Fantasy 8 and 7 both belong to their fabulous creator…which is not me!  
  
Enjoy!  
  
Luv Shinigami_myao  
  
2  
  
3 MY edited version of the Final Fantasy 8 ballroom scene…and a bit more…  
  
Squall casually leaned on the wall beside the refreshments table. He glanced around and fought a personal battle on deciding whether or not to down the closest bottle of liquor. He hated parties of any kind, and dances were no acception. This was not the way he wanted to celebrate his new SeeD status. He envisioned an evening of beer…maybe some more beer…and reading the occasional haiku.  
  
He watched as Zell tripped over his own feet and crashed into an oncoming waiter. He grabbed a glass of wine from a passing tray, and downed it in one swig. Zell hopped over to Squall and did his complimentary show off of skill by throwing a few punches and kicking air. He waltzed up beside Squall and started feeling his arm.  
  
"Hey…Have you been working out?"  
  
Being rather petwerbed by the sudden touch, he unceremoniously smashed the wine glass over Zell's head. His hyperactive friend collapsed to the floor in a heap. Squall shrugged and grabbed another…slightly bigger…glass of wine, and leaned back on his wall.  
  
Selphie galloped over to him and grabbed his hand.  
  
"Hi Squall!!! Wanna join the Garden Festival committee? It'll be so much fun, and you can help when you have the time! Hey, what happened to Zell? Oh well! So what do ya say?!?"  
  
Squall thought about this for a moment, took another sip of his wine…then bashed Selphie with the glass. He sighed and closed his eyes, attempting to block out the mind-numbingly slow classical music. He wished he were in his room. There he could at least try to hide from his annoying classmates.  
  
When he opened his eyes, he was greeted by a shooting star making it's way across the sky. [After it passed, the rotting carcass of Sephiroth sailed past the dome…spinning in all his unearthly glory] He looked away from the clear dome in the ballroom, and was suddenly distracted by a black haired girl in a light dress who was pointing at the star. She smiled at him, and began to walk in his direction. Squall looked around for another waitress with a tray of wine glasses, but none could be found. The girl stopped in front of him and smiled.  
  
"You're the best looking guy here."  
  
"…"  
  
"You wanna dance?"  
  
"…"  
  
"Let me guess, you only dance with people you like."  
  
"…"  
  
Squall attempted to meld into the wall, but found solid plaster hard to go through. The very odd girl started waving her fingers in front of his face.  
  
"You are going to like me….You are going to like me…"  
  
He sighed and rolled his eyes, trying to brush her off, but this had just made her more determined.  
  
"Come on!"  
  
She grabbed hold of his hand and dragged him out onto the dance floor. He clumsily followed, unsure of how to get rid of her. He decided to play along for a while…  
  
They stopped in the middle of the dance floor and the girl placed one of his hands on her hip, and grasped the other in her own. Awkwardly, they began to dance. Not being the greatest dancer in the world, Squall constantly stepped on the girl's feet, and bumped into her when they spun. After bumping into another couple, he attempted to escape the torture by leaving the dance floor.  
  
"No! Wait!"  
  
The girl grabbed hold of his arm and pulled him back to the center of the floor. Suddenly, Squall realized that the only way out of this was to dance with the clingy female. He took hold of her hand and they began dancing in unison with the other couples on the floor. The ballroom was filled with the upbeat sound of the orchestra, and the motion of the dancers. As the song was brought to a close, the girl and Squall slowed, but still held each other. She smiled up at him, then gazed out the dome to watch the fireworks. Squall saw his chance and grabbed a four-foot tall wine glass, and repeatedly beat her over the head with it.  
  
After his urge to kill had faded, he gave the slightly broken glass to an oncoming waiter. He stepped over the unconscious girl's body and headed for the balcony. He walked over to his instructor, Quistis, and leaned on the railing beside her.  
  
"Did you call me, instructor Trepe?"  
  
"Yes Squall, I did."  
  
His instructor moved closer to him, not saying another word. She looked up at him and smiled.  
  
"…Woah! Instructor, you can't touch me there!"  
  
"But…"  
  
"That's my special place!!!"  
  
Quistis blushed and put her hands back at her sides. She adjusted her outfit, and cleared her throat.  
  
"Squall, I want you to change, and meet me at the training center."  
  
"Why there?"  
  
"We are going to go to the Secret Area."  
  
"Secret Area?"  
  
"Yes. You know, the place where students go to talk after hours."  
  
Squall eyed her suspiciously.  
  
"If we're going to rat out those students, count me out."  
  
Quistis stifled a giggled, and cleared her throat again.  
  
"No, no, no…just get changed and meet me there, okay? …This will be my last order."  
  
He shrugged and started to head inside.  
  
"Squall!"  
  
He turned around to find Quistis holding a medium-sized, purple, polka- dotted bikini.  
  
"Change into this."  
  
Stunned, he accepted the bikini, and headed back to his room.  
  
He eyed the bathing suit suspiciously.  
  
"Hmm…too cold."  
  
After throwing it out his room window, he got changed into his regular outfit. He quickly made his way down to the training area; curious of why Instructor Trepe wanted to speak with him.  
  
"I'm glad to see you came, Squall."  
  
He sighed and motioned for them to get going. She nodded, then stopped and turned to him.  
  
"You're not wearing it!"  
  
Squall inhaled deeply and tried to keep his sanity. He then searched for another topic to switch to.  
  
"What did you mean by your 'last order'"  
  
His instructor looking gloomily at the floor.  
  
"I will tell you when we get to the secret area…"  
  
They headed off into the training zone.  
  
The two walked into the outdoor secret area, illuminated by the glow of the Garden. Squall followed his instructor to the semi-balcony, trying to ignore the other students who were currently making out. Quistis leaned on the side of the railing and rested her head on her hand. She looked up at the Garden and sighed. Squall watched with mild curiosity.  
  
"Um…instructor Trepe? …If you brought me here to make out, I'm sorry, I'm just not-"  
  
"Squall, as of now I am no longer an instructor. I am now an ordinary officer like yourself. They said that I didn't have what it takes to be an instructor. Hey, we might even work together…"  
  
Squall leaned on the railing and zoned out.  
  
"…"  
  
"Well?"  
  
"…Well what?"  
  
"Is that all you have to say?"  
  
"You were given an order, and now you must abide by it."  
  
"…That's it?"  
  
"…Yes! …Why did you bring me out here to talk about that?"  
  
"I thought you would care! I needed to talk to…someone…"  
  
"What do you expect me to say?!?"  
  
"You don't have to say anything!"  
  
"Then go talk to a wall."  
  
Quistis stepped back, shocked by his harsh words. Squall turned to leave, but stopped when he heard her sniffle. He let his gaze fall to the floor.  
  
"…Your not that bad a leader…"  
  
Quistis wiped her eyes and tried to stifle her laugh. She walked up behind Squall and trailed her finger along his arm.  
  
"So you want me to lead?…"  
  
Squall jumped forward and looked at Quistis accusingly; his eyes wide in fear.  
  
"…!?!"  
  
"hehehe…just kidding. Let's go back."  
  
He sighed with relief, and the two headed out of the secret area.  
  
Before they reached the exit of the training area, they heard a cry of distress coming from outside the doors. The two hurried through and found a young women being attacked by a wasp-like monster. Squall took out his gunblade, and Quistis revealed her whip. Squall eyed her weapon cautiously, and shuddered. They destroyed the monster and helped the girl to her feet.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
She rubbed her head and nodded slowly.  
  
"Yeah…I'm alright!"  
  
The mysterious girl looked up at Squall in curiosity.  
  
"…You look like uncle Laguna…"  
  
Squall's eyebrow began to twitch.  
  
"…But I'd say you're better looking…"  
  
She batted her eyelashes and smiled provocatively at him. Squall raised his gunblade above his head, eyes bloodshot.  
  
"AREN'T YOU MY SISTER?!?!?"  
  
The girl's eyes shot open in shock. Quistis caught Squall's gunblade with her whip before he could strike her.  
  
"Squall!!! That wasn't in the script!!!"  
  
"Yeah, and neither was 'blah, blah, blah, you look like uncle Laguna'!"  
  
"Great! Now you've ruined the scene!"  
  
"Shut up! Shut up! They're still reading!"  
  
"Oh, right…(whisper, whisper)…Squall, you should go get some sleep. You'll have a mission tomorrow."  
  
Squall cleared his throat.  
  
"Uh, Yes! And it was nice seeing you. I'll be off now…"  
  
Squall ran out of the training area and headed to his dorm.  
  
Upon entering, he was confronted by Zell.  
  
"Hey, Squall, I was waiting for ya!"  
  
"…"  
  
"We've all got new dorm rooms!"  
  
"…"  
  
"Your room is right across from mine…"  
  
He winked and gave Squall a sly smile.  
  
"…"  
  
Squall shuddered and knocked Zell out with the base of his gunblade. As he put away his weapon, he shuddered again, then headed into his room.  
  
He changed into his extra small Chocobo printed pajamas, and grabbed his super soft stuffed moogle toy (which he's had since he was a CHILD!). He snuggled under the covers and hugged his moogle (nicknamed Rufus), then turned off his invisible lamp.  
  
From his window, a legion of those faceless Balamb Garden officials ( you know, the guys with the flat hats and white robes.) could be seen. With their hands and faces pressed against the glass, they watched as the sleeping Squall hugged his Rufus tighter.  
  
(Whisper, whisper)  
  
"…He's so cute when he sleeps!"  
  
"Looks just like a baby!"  
  
"Did he cut his hair?"  
  
"Does anyone know when he plans to take his next shower?!?"  
  
"I've already got dibs on that!"  
  
"Will you guys keep it down!"  
  
(Whisper, whisper)  
  
"…Sorry, sorry…"  
  
"Hey, somebody get me a stick!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Cause I wanna poke him, that's why!"  
  
"…Is their a reason for this?"  
  
"…I want to see him…roll over!"  
  
"…"  
  
"…"  
  
"…Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhh!"  
  
"Hell yeah!"  
  
"What a babe!"  
  
"Will you guys shut up! We're gonna get caught!"  
  
(Whisper, whisper)  
  
"…SORRY!"  
  
~Finis~  
  
Author's ending blurb:  
  
Okay, okay, okay…I'm slightly warped…I realize this. Ah…hold on a sec…  
  
(Rustle, rustle)  
  
Will you guys STOP poking him!!!…ahem…sorry about that. As I was saying…  
  
Me and my friend were playing Final Fantasy 8, and these ideas just popped into our heads. We mean no harm or insult, we just want to have fun. I figured you guys could get a larf out of it, so I wrote my little fanfic.  
  
I'd appreciate reviews on this…good and bad! I'd like to improve my writing and I LUV IT when people enjoy my stories! ^_^  
  
And my advice to each and every one of you is…let your mind wonder…cause things are just more fun that way!!!  
  
Katya's Bonus List:  
  
I think it would be rather amusing if several people kept make passes at Squall, and coming on to him throughout the game…ahem…  
  
Rinoa (duh…a given)  
  
Zell (so over done!)  
  
Quistis (as says my fic…)  
  
Selphie (how annoying)  
  
Irvine (hmm…welcome to the wonderful world of shounan ai!)  
  
Seifer (I KNEW something was going on!)  
  
Laguna (Eewwww! Isn't that his dad?!?)  
  
Ward (yuck!)  
  
Kiros (okay…that's a big age gap…)  
  
Ellone (…in the fic, in the fic!)  
  
Fujin and Rajin (ah what the hell…(shrugs))  
  
Cid [flashback to when Cid was giving the reports out after they have passed the SeeD exam] (He leans down to each student, giving his little comments or words of wisdom. He comes to Squall and leans to whisper in his ear. "Make sure you come to the dance later so you can shake that sexy ass of yours!"….) [need I say more?]  
  
Biggs and Wedge (Hey, they have to enter this story SOMEWHERE!)  
  
Infrit ("ugh…I think that GF is winking at me…")  
  
Shiva (sooooooo coooooooooollllldddddd….)  
  
Tonberry King ("Get that knife away from me!!!")  
  
Jumbo Cactuar ("Squall! Hug me, squeeze me, I'm your play thing!" "Ahhhhhhhh!")  
  
Odin (Even the horse too?)  
  
Alexander (A small screen pops up on the machine's chest. "Hey Squall …WINK … WINK")  
  
…And the rest of the GFs.  
  
PuPu (Aww…isn't he cute!)  
  
The lake monster ("…hey guys…I think this lake is trying to make a pass at me…)  
  
Angelo ("…Can you get this thing off my leg?")  
  
Chocobo (Kweeeeeeehhhhhhh!!!!)  
  
Cloud (I know, I know, wrong game!)  
  
Ahem…to save time…I'm just gonna say EVERYBODY!!!  
  
Well…that is, everyone but Edea, who shudders profoundly.  
  
Oh! And don't forget the Garden Officials…Narsty Buggers…  
  
~Shinigami Myao~  
  
Okay…get ready…get set…REVIEW!!!  
  
I'd appreciate comments…but don't be mean, please!  
  
I want constructive criticism!  
  
Arigatou Gozaimasu! 


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